Last year was one hell of a year, so it would be no surprise if after going through all of this, the way we see/act/are in this world, would change. I think for me 2020 was definitely a year for a lot of internal reflection, work and planning around what I wanted to focus my time and energy on and for me, the quiet and loss of options gave me that space.
I am not sure when it happened. But at some stage in 2020, perhaps even earlier, I started feeling that I perhaps preferred my own company, to that of being around others. I am not sure how this sounds, so hear me out.
With the pandemic a very key figure in many people’s lives, we actually didn’t have the opportunity to be around many people at one time too often in 2020, and I think that very real fact may have a more long-term impact on how I personally choose to participate in social interactions. Distractions do help, but there are only so many ways you can try to build more habits or take actions to have a better relationship with your health before you realise you may need to accept the fact that there will be changes, and not all of these changes will feel right. Things that are starting to dawn on me now when we look at the reopening of the world again soon that I am not going to lie, do fill me with a bit of fear and trepidation include, brushing passed people in busy pubs, touching elbows with a stranger in the cinema, commutes back on the tube for oh, so many reasons and more. I am not sure why, but the thought of having all of these normal experiences back in my day-to-day life makes me feel like I am going to resemble a newborn kitten touching grass for the first time. So foreign, completely unsure about the world and I don’t want it.
But, I am a full-blooded extrovert!
This feeling is a completely new experience for me btw. I have always been the loud one, forever the jokester and always looking for mischief. Yep, that’s me and I love it. My friends mean the world to me and nothing makes me happier than being around them and revelling in all the bants. So when I started to feel a bit drained for the smallest social interactions and even worse, finding peace in that realisation, I was ok, maybe this is something I should actually lean into and see the value.
The confirmation was in the personality test…
With almost 400 million tests taken, I went back to the test which drew on the Myer Briggs framework with additional extensive research. The 16 Personalities personality test (which I highly recommend taking by the way) was the test I retook last month and what it revealed was no surprise at all to me – I have become an introvert (wtaf)!
Who the bloody hell am I?
According to the test, I am an INTJ-A which briefly means:
- Introverted: enjoys alone time
- Intuitive: thinks about the future and the possibilities on the path – searching for meaning
- Thinking: I am a questioner – I need facts and data
- Judging: this one would be no surprise to people that know me well. I need a well thought through plan and spontaneity does not feature too heavily in my life
- Architect: “Architects may struggle to find people who can keep up with their nonstop analysis of everything around them.” Sorry, fam.
What does this mean for me, workwise?
I am not sure if this shift has affected how I show up at work because work for me from the outset of the pandemic (which coincidentally was roughly the time I started in my current role) was extremely hectic. My workplace, like most other businesses, had to change direction in light of the pandemic and adapt to this new landscape. Which meant that the workforce, practices and processes all had to be under review. Being faced with this, if you were not able to adapt and be ready to learn in the agilest of agile environments, you were going to have a murky foreseeable career. The tips offered for introverts on The Introverts’ and Extroverts’ Guide to Thriving in a Lockdown provide insightful things to think about that you can bring into your work/life routines.
It has been interesting learning a lot more about how I use and consume emotional energy and I am happy to learn that I definitely do not need to feel bad, or perplexed for approaching what and how I do something in a new light. I will take this test again in another year or so, maybe after the pandemic and see if my result will be any different. I will let you know.
Thanks for reading,
Mel x